Curious & Beautiful 2009

By sending out the email for creating the action list for 2009, I got amazing responses from friends, family, and colleagues! Many people want to learn a new language but don't have the time, some want to learn a new instruments but have little motivation, and most people want to be fit and healthy but have not been serious about it. After receiving some of the emails, I realized that we have been making excuses to not do the things that we really want to do and this is a great opportunity to share the actions that we would like to take and form a partnership in taking these actions!

Mariola gave me a great idea to create a theme for my 2009 actions - so I am stealing her idea! The theme that I would like to create is being curious and beautiful for 2009! Being curious means experiencing new things, people, and my own boundaries, and being beautiful means being physically fit, mentally peaceful, and challenged intellectually which means beautiful inside and out! How do I achieve being curious and beautiful? Here are some things that I would like to have, be completed, and experienced by the end of 2009 that are inspiring and fun for me!

1. I would like to complete at least one piano lesson and learn how to read music notes again by the end of 2009. After I shared this with friends, I found three other friends that are interested in the same thing and two of them will sign up to a piano course in Sacramento with me. Andrew is the third person that is interested in learning piano, so we bought each other the exact same electric piano for Christmas!!! Learning piano will be part of my beautification process!

2. I would like to be able to run 10K by next Thanksgiving! I will start training for the 10K in Januray so I can join the Thanksgiving run in Sacramento. I am sure this is the best way to get into shape physically and will be a great challenge for my mind! (I can't even run a mile without stopping right now so this one will be very interesting... )

3. I would like to attend at least 5 concerts, Broadway shows, and/or drama by the end of 2009. I have always enjoyed going to these events, committing to do it 5 times this year will make me very happy! It will be awesome!

4. I would also like to cook at least 3 times out of a week and avoid coffee and carbonated drinks completely! Home cooked meals have always been my favorite but I just need to invest more time in making that happen for our household!!! Besides, most of my friends are great cooks, finding excuses to learn a few impressive dishes will be a lot of fun!

5. I also would like to start golfing again. Jim bought me some really nice clubs after the old ones were stolen. I would like to play at least 10 games in 2009! This will be an easy one to find partners!

6. There are about 10-15 books in our house that I started reading but never finished in the last two years and I would like to complete reading all of them. I would also like to learn and familiarize myself with the Great Depression by utilizing library resources! I will post reviews on the books when I complete each one.

7. This last one will be the hardest one to keep. I would like to quit being late for appointments, meetings, classes, and parties so that I am not wasting other people's time.

By sharing these actions that I am taking, it places these thoughts and wishes into reality for me. I am now accountable for my words! I am excited that I have found friends as partners for my 2009 actions through sharing. Hopefully I can help to pair up other people's interests and goals for the upcoming year! It's going to be a busy year but I am looking forward to my curious and beautiful 2009!

Creating 2009

Many of you have received the letter that I sent out two weeks ago and I have gotten great responses. Here's the letter if you haven't had the opportunity to look at it.

Dear friends and family,
I am writing to invite you to play a game with me for 2009! I had a roller coaster ride in 2008 and I am looking forward to a great and awakened 2009! You know how the New Year's resolution hardly ever come true for most of us? So this year, instead of making a wish list that doesn't come true, I want to put a list together that's called 2009 action list!

I am inviting you to write down something that you would like to do or have happen in 2009. It cannot be something that you know that you can accomplish but it has to be a list of things that you will enjoy doing that will also take your commitment. By commitment I mean it is not going to be "reasoned" out of existence due to your circumstances. For example, if you are committed to quit smoking, you are quitting and there's no ifs, ands, and buts! that kind of commitment! it can't be a maybe tomorrow, maybe next week thing. So, this is going to be a list of actions that you are committed in doing in 2009. You list it out and we support each other in making the list happen! You'll need to be specific and have a timeline attached to each action,taking a foreign language - you'll have to say which language and when you are going to register for the course.be healthy - you will have to specify how and what actions you are going to take. Cook for yourself at least three times a week instead of once a week. Exercise two times a week instead of two times a month, etc.be there for your spouse/significant other/family - You'll put down how many additional days or hours you will commit to being with them instead of just declaring the action.

I will post these commitments on my blog without the names and we can support each other in making these happen for 2009! Please email me the list of actions by the end of next week, put some thoughts into it and I look forward to see your list of actions! I will share mine on the blog. I love you and have a very Merry X'mas and very Happy New Year!

Anny

Reflecting on 2008

I started 2008 with a list of New Year's resolutions on our refrigerator, not knowing how they are going to get accomplished and if these 'empty wishes' will ever come true by the end of the year. Little did I know, 2008 was going to be the ride of my life!

Early into the first month of January, I got the most annoying but life changing email of my life and the email was from Gina to 'encourage' me to register for the Landmark Forum. You have to know some background to understand why the email was annoying... My sister, Angela, has invited me to take this course called the Landmark Forum for at least five years! I resisted, turned her down, argued with her, made fun of her until she talked about the course less at a tolerable level. The first week of January 2008, there it was, Gina's email to 'bug' me to do the Landmark Forum and I just couldn't believe it!!! The strange thing was that Gina's email was genuine, loving, interesting, and kind of amazing but I registered for the course right away not because the nature of the email but the determination: "I will have to get these two women off my back to have a peaceful 2008!" This is how I started the most amazing journey of my life in 2008. (Note: I registered for the Landmark Forum because I don't want to hear another word about landmark! so friends and family, to shut me up about landmark, you'll just have to sign up for the course!)

Needless to say, I saw a lot of things for myself out of the Landmark Forum, and I also see that my motto "I don't need help, I can do it myself" was the very reason that I did not register for the course and my "independence" showed up in every aspect of my life. Through the landmark forum, I saw that I was weary of failure so I stopped taking actions, I was concerned about breaking my heart so I stopped loving, and I was not living the life that inspired me because I didn't think I could. After seeing those constraints that I have placed on myself, I realized why my life was going the way it was...

In 2008, the biggest challenged that I faced was taking myself on. I observed my thoughts, practiced not being so reasonable and cynical, battled my emotions, and ignored a lot of my own running commentaries that stopped me from taking actions in my life. I had the best and worst kind of experiences of my life this year but I experienced them and I was fully aware that they were just experiences. I tasted successes and failures and was fully present to that these were just results of the 'games' that I chose to play and actions that I took. I saw my own strengths and shortcomings and I embraced and loved them knowing that they have defined who I was and I get to choose who I want to become. My 2008 was the most awakened and exciting year out of the past 32 that I have lived because I chose to live life and gave myself permission to have my heart broken everyday with everyone. Hiding behind the walls that I built for myself just isn't good enough for me anymore!

This past year was an exciting roller coaster ride of living life fully! I had many triumphs over my past and circumstances and I feel alive and energized! 2009 will be another wild ride, so get on it with me and let's scream and enjoy this trip. After all, there is only one life and only one 2009!

Thank you for all of your encouragement and support this year! I wish all of you a merry Christmas and happy New Year!

A Thankful Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving is one of the most amazing one that I have ever had. Jim and I ran for the Sacramento "run to feed the hungry" race on Thanksgiving morning, entertained our friends over the weekend, and spend some quality time with one another to celebrate our 4th anniversary.

It has been five years since I last saw Andrew. He drove up from LA on Thanksgiving day to visit and spend the long weekend with us. After the morning race, Jim and I rushed home to prepare the Thanksgiving meal for our only guest. The dinner included a citrus rosemary salted turkey, sauteed beans seasoned with garlic, good old mashed potatoes and the August West pinot noir and D cubed zinfandel. The food was very traditional but the conversations were exceptional. The boys talked about the financial market, recent regulations, European and Asian history, real estate, politics, race and gender, and the most important topic - the food and the wines. I have always enjoyed talking to Andrew and Jim, but listening to their conversations was even better! At the end of the evening, we finished two bottles of wine, a Cuban cigar, and almost completely devoured the 14 pound turkey!

We woke up in the middle of the night to take Andrew to the Folsom outlet mall for his first mid-night black Friday shopping excursion and slept in until the afternoon on Friday. Before we hit the pillows again, we had more conversations, more drinks, and tons more food. Andrew woke up the next morning completely stuffed for the entire weekend.

Saturday was our 4th anniversary. I picked John up from the train station as he arrived from San Francisco. John and I got tons of groceries as John prepared to cook for our 4th anniversary dinner with friends! The cooking process was long but the food turned out to be extraordinary!!! We had two appetizers, a salad, an entree, a bottle of Richard Perry syrah, and topped off by the best desert ever! We talked, shared, listened, ate, drank, laughed, and ate some more... The evening ended with more talking, sharing, laughters and many cups of organic coffee!

Andrew and John left on Sunday morning to return to their cities. Jim and I said our goodbyes and spent the rest of the day by ourselves. Jim and I both felt that this was one of the most intimate Thanksgivings that we have had in Sacramento because of the generosity, openness, and love that our friends shared with us. This Thanksgiving was definitely one of the most memorable. For this, we are truly grateful!

Naiveté

We are brought up and educated to analyze, assess, and evaluate situations, problems, and people and we are warned that being naive is no way to survive in our society and this world. I can vividly remember taking offense to being called naive when I was younger, therefore, adopting cynicism and embracing resignation seemed only natural. One day, I woke up as a "reasonable" adult looking for proof and evidence that this world does not tolerate naiveté. After all, it is easier to lower the expectations of people and government policies than to be hopeful and then disappointed.

I had a conversation with a colleague the other night talking about the automobile industry bailout. We both agreed that the auto industry deserves to fail but the consequence of such failure will be catastrophic not only to the industry itself but the economy as a whole. We disagreed on the root of the problem therefore the solution to the issue. We are not trying to pretend that we have THE solution for the auto industry but the discussion was to exchange information and checking in with our thought process. At the end of our discussion, he said "I don't care about what happens to the Big Three or Detroit, what's important to me is my family and my savings". I nodded in agreement and left for home. As I got on the highway and sat in traffic, it occurred to me that not only are the financial markets around the world intricately linked together, the asset classes are synchronized by various factors and economies, but all of us - human beings - will inevitably be affected by the choices that each one of us make.

This is going to sound naive but we can no longer afford to believe that our choices in our lives only affect us. The consequences of our decisions are borne by many if not all. The financial system meltdown is the manifestation of our beliefs and choices over time. The mentality that our actions do not affect others have been proven dead wrong. We are not many, but we are one. The choices that we make at the expense of others will eventually come back to haunt us, maybe not in our generation, but it will eventually catch up to our future.

Intervention?

I have been itching to write about the financial market bailout but had a lot of considerations so I have been refraining from sharing my point of view until today... Please note that this is my opinion and in no way it reflects the reality of the market.

First of all, the US government's treatment of failing financial institutions in September of this year failed to restore confidence in the financial market and possibly fueled the trading volatility in the equity market. The fed arranged the sale of Bear Stearns to JPMorgan, took over Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and wiped out these institutions' preferred and equity holders, then the government allowed Lehman Brother to fail without government assistance and turned around the very next day to bailout AIG by extending a $85 billion loan package. Shortly after AIG, the FDIC seized Washington Mutual and threw it into the arms of JPMorgan which made JPMorgan the largest US depository institution. (I thought the reason for the bailout was because these banks are too big to fail, so why are we making them bigger?) The Washington Mutual acquisition by JPMorgan was completed at the expense of unsecured creditors. As if these weren't enough, FDIC orchestrated the Wachovia takeover by Citigroup with government assistance which was later countered by Wells Fargo with no government aid. (FDIC was going to sell Wachovia to Citigroup with government help for $2.2 billion and Wells Fargo offered $15.1 billion to takeover Wachoiva. Wells Fargo must have gotten the valuation right because Citigroup put up a good fight for this transaction)

In addition to failing to provide equal treatment of financial institutions, Congress also passed a $700 billion bailout package without a thoughtful implementation strategy. Treasurer Hank Paulson announced today that the $700 billion package will not be used to purchase toxic assets that was originally intended by Congress. The money will be used to provide additional equity injection to the banks that have not eased lending practices. A few banks have taken advantage of the TARP (troubled asset relief program) to acquire their rivals to make themselves bigger, pay dividends to make the executives richer, and reclassifying their assets by avoiding mark-to-market to make their earnings look better to ensure their bonuses are in tact. Whether these are intended or unintended consequences of government intervention, something needs to be done so that our financial system, corporations, and small business remain solvent and what is left of the taxpayer money from TARP does not go to waste AGAIN.

The Power Within

Have you ever had other people tell you how great you are and it is just impossible for you to believe them? Have you ever been acknowledged and just do not feel like you deserve it? Has someone told you that you've made a profound impact on his/her life and you just don't know if you can take credit for it? This happens to me all the time and it happens to a lot of my friends and colleagues too. There are so many amazing people in my life that I can see their strengths, their love, their ability to make a difference, and their power. However, the power that they have within themselves is usually hidden from their view that awaits to be tapped into and unleashed.

John is one of the power houses that I know who just radiates energy, charm, and tons of love! I was so fortunately to be there for him as he goes through the landmark forum as he starts to let people back into his life and move on from the past. I was so touched and inspired by his appreciation for inviting him to the landmark forum. I have no doubt that John will continue to touch and inspire others in his life and I am absolutely certain that he will electrify everyone by sharing his power within.

Recently, I heard this quote that I just can't get it out of my mind - We never touch people so lightly that we do not leave a trace. Because of this quote, I no longer (or seldom) gets fiesty with telemarketers or credit card company representatives. By acknowledging the power I have within myself, it not only allows me to contribute to others but it also teaches me to be responsible for managing this power so I can always leave others appreciated and empowered.

Halloween

Too bad that I won't be in Sacramento this year for Halloween. I'll be on the plane to NYC tomorrow night but hopefully I can at least see some people in costumes in New York. I wonder if New York City's parties are better than waiting on kids to show up at the door. I think so, so I must be getting old...

The past several years, Jim and I have dressed up, handed out candies, and went out for adult beverages, so we always had a good time! The kids and teenagers show up at our place as spiderman, superwoman, geisha (or some kind of Asian ghost), star war characters, red necks, and all kinds of interesting costumes! Our neighborhood will have a hundred some people come through for candies, I just love Halloween! If I was little, this will be one of my favorite holidays!

Tell me what you are going to be for Halloween and send me pictures so I can share the experience and excitment! Happy Halloween!!!

Commitment

It is hard to keep a commitment. Commitments can be big and it can be small but they are all difficult to keep. Commitments can be as small as being on time, meeting due dates, eating healthy, exercising or it can be as big as achieving a career goal, supporting a friend or family, to committing to a person or a relationship.

These promises are hard to keep because we are used to not keeping our words. We procrastinate and justify our actions, we apologize when we don't REALLY mean it, and friends and family around us let us off the hook by not holding us accountable. Slowly but surely, our words lose value to others, to ourselves, then our confidence in ourselves begins to erode, and so we give this 'disease' a fancy name - commitment phobia.

It is very easy to not keep our words and find excuses to get out of these simple commitments. However, the consequence of this simple action is tremendous and sometimes daunting. To restore confidence in myself, I am striving to keep all of my words. If I don't keep my word, please don't let it slide without letting me know how it impacted you and others so that I can be held responsible for not just my actions, but my words.

Protecting Happiness

Most of us are seeking and looking for something. We want to love and be loved, to cherish and be cherished, to understand and be understood, to desire and be desired, to learn and teach, to give and receive, and to right and sometimes to wrong. We are constantly looking for the meaning of life, meaning of our existence, and meaning our experiences. It is in the search of these feelings, emotions, meanings, and experiences that we find our identity but we also risk of losing ourselves in this constant search.

I am turning 33 this December, and I have looked, searched, and found pieces of what I want and desire but never knew what was "the thing" that makes me joyful, content, and happy. Last night, after a conversation with John and some thinking, I realized that the source of my happiness comes from simplicity. My childhood, teenage years, and adulthood - up until this point have all been pretty complicated. The complication comes from the past and creating complication is almost my personality and my second nature. When I live in the complication of the past or the ones that I create, I am never truly happy. It is when I simplify my life that I find peace, joy, and happiness.

My attempts to search for the fulfillment in life have mostly been external - a relationship, a friend, a pair of shoes, a dress, more money, the next promotion, etc. Those attempts have always failed miserably leaving me even less satisfied and sometimes empty. When I am touched and moved by simplicity, those moments are often the best times of my life but always short-lived. Last night, I finally realized that, for me to be happy, I have to protect my happiness. Protecting happiness is a moment by moment choice and I will have to learn to let simplicity linger and shorten the life of complexity in my life. I am looking forward to protecting my happiness...

Abundance

Returning to the States and our home in Sacramento from a two week trip to Europe made me realized that we, as Americans, live in a country of abundance, and in many cases, excess of material posessions.

In most German restaurants that we patronized, we sat down and ordered our own water or other drinks, the restaurants do not serve you free water, you have to order your own water and pay for it. So guess what, Jim and I only had beers when we had our meals and we started craving for water after a week of beer hydration. The gas prices in Europe was unbelievable, not only that the prices were quoted in Euros, the unit that they operate in is in liters not gallons, no wonder they drive small cars and have brilliant transportation system for the masses.

Going into the global recession, we'll all have to learn to conserve and choose between our needs and wants on a day to day basis. The convenience and instant gratification that we have enjoyed for so long will be challenged and will have to change. However, I am not so sure if this is a such bad thing. We'll save more, consume less, support each other more, and waste a lot less. It is about time that our contributions to the world outweigh our out of control consumption appetite. This is not so bad is it?

Berlin II

We met up with Danielle at her place in Berlin on Monday morning around noon for more Berlin sight-seeing. It is always so great to meet up with close friends in a foreign city especially when they know where to take you for the best and less crowded sites! Jim, Danielle, and I, chatted, walked, rested, drank, trained, and visited Check Point Charlie, sections of the Berlin Wall, and the Topography of Terror. The sites were mostly by where the Berlin Wall once stood and where it once divided Germany into the east and the west. We saw various sections of the remaining wall, the guard tower, the documentation of the Nazi ruling, and the history of the division of the Berlin Wall. The sites were extremely intriguing and it was hard to imagine that the Berlin Wall which divided Germany into the east and west stood and fell both in my life time in our generation. These sites took us about three to four hours to walk through and we ended up in Potsdamer Platz for deserts, snacks, coffee, and drinks. It feels like one moment we were in the midst of the divide between the east and west of Berlin and the next moment we were in a completely different century. When the wall fell, the Eastern Germans must feel the same way, it must be hard to adapt to the schizophrenic changes.

For all this time that we have been in Germany, we almost always ate at traditional German restaurants. Since Jim and I can no longer have more sausages and pork dishes, Danille and her Italian friends took us to La Batea for some familiar and tasty Spanish / Mexican cuisine! It seems to me that the conversations with Italians over dinner and wine are always so pleasant! We talked about Rome (I just can’t help myself), Italian and American culture differences, Italian outlet stores, Berlin lifestyle, and it just went on and on… Before we know it, we just had a four hour Italian dinner in a Spanish restaurant in Berlin! I love meeting new people with different backgrounds! If it wasn’t 11:30pm at night, I am sure we can continue our inquisitions into our differences for several more hours.

I love the diversity that Berlin offers, there is so much to do, so many different people to cross path with, and so much history, culture, and burden… Berlin is not a lover like Rome but it is definitely a city for the curious – a city that is thought provoking, mysterious, modern, and all-encompassing.

Berlin I

We arrived in Berlin at midnight on Friday evening after our visit to the historic Nurnberg. The taxi ride from the Hauptbahnhof to our hotel was a long ride (the taxi driver circled around for no good reason) and the evening of former Eastern Berlin was a little somber, eerie, and estranged from the rest of the European cities that we have visited.

We read up on the US government bailout news the next morning. Ever since Italy, my addiction over the financial market kicked in with a vengeance, we have been buying FT and watching international edition of CNN every morning on our Germany trip. Outraged with the bailout plan, we decided to start our first morning in Berlin a little later and we walked to the Alexanderplatz after we pealed ourselves out of the hotel room. On our way to Unter den Linden, we unexpectedly ran into the Berlin Marathon crowd. Many of the runners were bow-legged walking down the streets and subway stations and others had finished the race and were enjoying their beers and relaxing on the grass by Brandenburg Gate. This was my first time seeing a large group of marathon runners gathered in one spot, it was interesting to see people with medals on their necks, fans and family cheering besides the runners, and seeing the competitors crowd the street of Berlin. We did not realize that the Berlin Marathon had taken place and ended by the Brandenburg Gate but it was fun to watch the party after the run. The serious and solemn Berlin morning suddenly got washed away by the runners’ festive energies!

After our stroll through the Brandenburg Gate and a nearby park, we stopped at the Holocaust Memorial designed by the American architect - Peter Eisenman that was funded by the German government. The memorial looked like nothing but blocks of fake tombs at first, but after walking through the memorial, the blocks have different heights that can go as high as four meters! The information center for the Holocaust Memorial is a must-see if you visit Berlin. The center is well put-together and the information collected is thorough and extremely interesting. The Memorial was dedicated to the Jewish community that was murdered in all of Europe under the Nazi rule. The exhibit at the museum was extremely disturbing and I can’t help but wonder, “How is it that humans can bring such atrocity to one another?” and “Will we ever learn our lessons from history?” The Memorial was established to remind us that the tragedy has happened in the past and that it is possible that it will happen again if we don’t remember history. With the reminder of the Memorial, I really hope that all of us, including the Jewish community, do not repeat our mistakes again as in the early 1940s…

Yes, the Holocaust Memorial really made an impression on me. Berlin has the history and culture to flex and test your emotional barometers, so be ready for it! After the Holocaust Memorial, we visited the Reichstag (Parliament Building) that is around the corner from the Brandenburg Gate. Reichstag was presumably burnt down by Hitler in 1933 so that he can blame the Communist Party to gain power. Each tour to the Reichstag took about 30 tourists and the guides herded us to the roof of the Parliament for an amazing night view of Berlin. The top of the Reichstag was a glass dome with an upside down cone composed by thousands of mirrors to capture natural light into the legislative chamber. At the very top of the upside down cone, it opens into the sky with stars shining through its opening in the evening. We walked around the open air area and this looks like the alien welcoming platform in the movie Independence Day! No kidding! The reason that the top of the legislative chamber was built by glass is so that the process of the government is transparent and accountable to the people of Germany. Maybe this is what we need in Washington DC?

The sites in former Eastern Germany were fascinating. It will take your emotions and thoughts through various times in history with great opportunities to reflect upon our current political and international affairs. So far, I have enjoyed Berlin and can’t wait to meet up with Danille for further exploration of this conflicted city that bears such historical significance! Stay tuned!

Oktoberfest

It was almost ceremonial that Jim and I decided to go have our brunch before heading to Oktoberfest so that we have some “awake” time before the beer fest overwhelmed us. We decided to have our brunch at Glockenspiel Café that is across the street from Marienplatz on the fourth floor. I was surprised that the Café was so packed with Germans eating full breakfasts on a Thursday morning like this. We sat closed to the window with a view overlooking Marienplatz , the drizzle, and the busy tourists snapping photos.

We took the S and then U Bahn and exited Goetheplatz, then followed a bunch of people in costumes to reach our destination – Oktoberfest! Oktoberfest is really something else! It is an American Halloween, July 4th celebration, and the California State Fair on a lot of alcohol that happens every year in Munich, Germany! We got in to the best tent (according to the German students) around 11:30 in the morning, and the tent was packed with tourists and Germans in Oktoberfest outfits – the boys are in lederhosen and the girls were in country maiden dresses. Jim and I joined some German university students that were waiting for their friends for some beer, food, and conversation… The German students that we met, Jenny, Robin, and Sebastian, started drinking around 10:45 in the morning and their friends are in other tents saving seats for possible tent rotations. Talk about dedication!

Jim and I sat by them from 11am through almost 6pm at night. The crowd started flowing around 5pm and the singing, drinking, shouting, and all the craziness associated with drinking beers started right around then also. We met more people that we couldn’t keep up with the names, but we’ll be sending them their pictures… According to the students, the tents reach full capacity around 5-6pm and no one is allowed into the tents. I had three one-liter beers (two of them radlers – ½ beer and ½ lemonade) and I am not sure how many Jim had but I had to carry him back to the taxi and then to the hotel…

We were surprised to find out that the legal drinking age for Germans is 16 years old and that parents take kids to Oktoberfest when they are little. Many students that we sat by had around 10 years of Oktoberfest experience under their belts already! The drinking feast was more of a festival than I expected. If you have kids and family, bring them here, Oktoberfest truly is a festival of everyone!!! Another item off of our bucket list - Oktoberfest was truly an experience of a life time!

Bucket List

After the Bisori wedding, Jim and I decided to head up north to Fussen to climb up to the Tegelberg which is approximately 1800 meters high. Jim had this in mind three years ago when we visited Fussen and couldn’t get out of his head, so here we go…

The train ride from Florence, Italy to Innsbruck, Austria was a gruesome eight hour long ride. We fed ourselves a good Italian pizza meal and walked up the Giatto’s tower (414 steps for 6 euros) before we headed back to the train station in Florence. This is our second time in Florence and coming back here was strangely familiar to both of us. Florence was just as busy as the last time we visited, the food was as good as we remembered, the view from top of the Giatto’s tower was just as breath-taking as we have captured in our camera from the last trip. We stopped in Florence only briefly this time and we were on our train to Innsbruck, Austria.

As we started heading towards the border of Italy, the landscape changed from hilly Tuscany cities to little villages next to mountains with steep rocky cliffs. The closer we got to Austria, the higher the train had to climb, the colder we got. I was excited to visit Innsbruck because last time, we only had time to see the Innsbruck train station! This year, we’ll at least have one evening and a short morning to see Innsbruck! We stayed at Hotel Maximiliar by old town Innsbruck this time. Our walk to old town Innsbruck was just around the corner from the hotel. Buildings in the old town were painted in bright colors. They were not painted in single color but many of them were etched with extremely artistic murals outside of the buildings. Many buildings also have sculptures attached to the windows, roof, outside walls, and one of the main tourist attractions was the building with a golden copper roof. (The Golden Roof) Innsbruck must be a fun place to visit; it will have to go on my long want-to-travel-to list for next time.

Speaking of lists, we finally arrived in Fussen, Germany to complete one of Jim’s items on his buck list after a 2.5 hours train and bus ride from Innsbruck, Austria the next morning. Jim and I decided to see Neuschwanstein castle again, so we rode in a horse carriage with 10 others to see this fairytale castle up in the mountains. The ride up the hill started out very romantic with an Australian couple sitting next to us in the front row right behind the horses until one of the horses starting tooting. Yup, the girl horse kept farting and the four of us kept laughing until the horse finally stopped and did her thing.... I know this is kind of disgusting, but it was just too funny. Imagine the couples wanting to make this a romantic ride so horses were hired instead of buses, and there you are, sitting behind the tooting horse that pooped right in front of you. Talk about close and personal!

During the tour of Neuschwanstein, we found out that there was a concert every year open to the public at the concert hall of the castle at this time of the year. So guess what we did? We went back up to the Castle (this time by bus) and waited for two tickets out of the 480 seats that might become available last minute. We waited in the ticket office with no heat for an hour, and Germans were true to their heritage, out of the 480 guests, every single one of them showed up! The German volunteers at the concert pitied us and gave us a ride back down the mountain so we did not have to walk back through the forest in the cold at night! So our trip to Fussen to complete one of Jim’s items on his bucket list added something new for me! I am coming back to Fussen to enjoy a concert in the mad King’s Castle!

Jim was such a good sport to wait with me in the cold for a concert tickets so I decided that I was going to complete his goal of 1800 meter climb up on the Telgelberg with him. This was the most satisfying bad decision I have ever made…

After we ascended for ten minutes, we saw a sign to Telgelberg that it was going to take us three hours. I thought to myself, shall I keep climbing or shall I turn around to wait for Jim at a local café or bar? I decided to keep going because I have made up my mind the night before that I was going to be by his side when he checks off his list! So we kept going… Just so you know, this was not just a hike, this was climbing and part of the trail rock-climbing. I did not train for the hike - I was just going to wing it! I had another decision to make after what it seems was one hour later, we reached another sign which indicated that the Telgelberg was another 2.5 hours away. At that point, I was ready to give up and start heading down the hill, but I am glad that I stuck with it. It was about two hours and fifteen minutes later that we hit the half way house. We sat by the heater, ordered some water and juice, got some rest, and head back out onto the path. While we were in the half-way house, you know what I was thinking right? We were only half way and it has taken me 2 hours and 15 minutes and my legs were sore and achy, I really wanted to turn back. By this time, it was not “I want to by Jim when he checks off this trip” that stopped me from turning back, it was “I want to head back but I don’t want to go back alone” and “he will have to do this another time which I really don’t want to be part of” that kept me going…

Fortunately, after our break, adrenaline finally kicked in and the ascending had become easier. We competed with other climbers in perfect climbing gear but surprisingly, the next half of our trip only took us one hour to complete even though the terrain has become rockier and more difficult to climb up. It was not until we had arrived at the top of the mountain and finished enjoying our hot soup and cold beer that the climbers with climbing gear made it up to the Tegelberghaus (dinner / bar at top of Tegelberg). Jim and I were sweaty and tired, but totally amazed and satisfied to have beaten the climbers with the right gear! Heck, not only that we didn’t have any climbing gear, I had my LV purse (which some climbers laughed and pointed at when they were descending down the mountain), and we still beat the “professionals”! Where there is a will, there is a way!

While we were sitting at the haus warming ourselves up, a biker asked to join our table, we welcomed him and started talking. He took a similar route up the mountain with his bike and it was a 1.5 hour ride for him to go up the mountain. We asked him whether this was his first time up because he was extremely sweaty in his biking outfit, he said “no, I do this every week”. Jim and I looked at each other and I secretly said to myself, “every week? I don’t even want this hike to be on my bucket list, let alone doing this every week!” I couldn’t believe it. The biker changed into some dry clothes, had a cup of tea, chatted with us and the owner a bit, and got his gear ready again. I asked him, “Are you riding down the mountain?” He replied “of course, it only takes 45 minutes, it is easier”. I stared at him in disbelief as he walked out of the haus. I thought Jim was crazy to put this hike on his bucket this, this biker must be very mad to do this every weekend!!! No wonder this biker is stick thin…

After we soaked up our success and achievement, we bought the gondola tickets to ride down the mountain – there was no way I am walking down that mountain! The gondola that we were on started descending from the clouds and fog into the clearing. We could see the path that we took, Hohenschwangau, Neuschwanstein, then the field and the city of Schwangau… The view was beautiful but we were both exhausted. I still can’t believe we climbed up 1881 meters in 3 hours and 15 minutes, but Jim is ecstatic that climbing Tegelberg is off of his bucket list.

We trained to Munich after our climb and we didn’t even make it to our next bucket list destination – Oktoberfest, tonight. We are both beyond exhausted, but tomorrow, we’ll conquer the infamous Oktoberfest! Oktoberfest, here we come, we just need one good night sleep then we’ll be ready!

Kelly's Wedding

On our way to Pistoia, I called Kelly from the Florence train station. It was so great to hear her voice and I started to get very excited about seeing her. It has been almost three months since Kelly moved to Italy and what has been hard for me was that we used to do something together almost everyday. Kelly was my neighbor, colleague, carpool buddy, drinking buddy, and one of my best friends. After she left Sacramento to be with the love of her life in Italy, I have been missing her. As I watched the perfectly color coordinated Tuscany shutters and homes fly by our train, I reminisced about the years that I have known Kelly and our time that we spent together in Sacramento. It was approximately 40 minutes from Florence station that we arrived at the Pistoia termini.

Carl picked up Jim, the Jacobsens’ and I at the Pistoia train station while Kelly was getting her nails done for the wedding the next day. When we arrived, Kelly and I hugged each other and started crying. I was so happy to see her and I really missed her… There was a lot of emotion running through me. - I was happy for her but sad to see her leave Sacramento. I was ecstatic for her that she has found Ciro but concerned about her happiness without her parents or friends. Kelly is like my sister from a different part of the world and I am glad that we came to Italy to attend their wedding.

Jim and I were moved into one of the Bisori villas and the view from our room was out of this world. It was Tuscany at its best, the hilly landscape, the trees, fields, cities, the sun, and the breeze. I cannot believe how beautiful the view from the farm and villas looked, it was amazing and shocking. How can a girl like Kelly not fall in love with an attentive farmer like Ciro surrounded by the Tuscan landscape and under the Tuscan sun?

Kelly and Ciro’s wedding was absolutely stunning! Kelly was in beautiful pure white dress with corsette in the back that made her look like a bride featured in one of those bridal magazines. And Ciro was in a black suit that made him look anything but an olive farmer. The wedding was administered by a Catholic priest at this church up the hills of Pistoia and witnessed by approximately 90 guests. The church was located on top of the hills and the view from the church was in perfect Tuscany colors, green, yellow, and orange. When the church bell started ringing to celebrate the wedding, the guests started to arrive. The ceremony was a blend between the American and Italian wedding traditions. Chris walked Kelly’s mom, I walked down the aisle before the bride, and Kelly was walked down the aisle by a perfectly happy dad. The sermon was delivered in some English but mostly Italian, so most of the English speakers got to respond to the sermon guessing the Italian pronunciation. Towards the end of the ceremony, Ciro’s two groomsmen, Chris, and I were asked to be the witness of the marriage and we had to go up to the podium to sign four different sets of documents. It was very interesting, but I am not quite sure what the documents said… When the Bisori’s exited the church, they were greeted with rice thrown at them. It wasn’t a toss, it was a lot of rice thrown at the newly weds! It was fun for the guests but the bride and groom ended up with rice all over their hair and their beautiful clothes! Kelly was trying to shake it out of her hair even after the reception!

Needless to say, the food, drinks, and music at the reception were excellent! (The food was amazing! Kelly has to watch out if this is how they feed people in Italy!) The reception took place at the Ciro and Kelly’s new place; the first floor of their house is a wedding hall that backs into a beautiful terrace with a great view of Tuscany cities. The guests ate, drank, and danced, the evening was just magical. I am not sure how to better describe the wedding and reception but a fairytale that had come true!

It was hard to say goodbye to Kelly but I am not so worried about her anymore. I can see that she belongs here in the farm up in Pistoia with Ciro, the farmer, and that her life in Italy is so much more fulfilling with the love of her life by her side. Kelly always wanted to be in Europe and this is her dream come true, so what is there for me to worry about? I am very happy that Jim and I attended the wedding and saw how happy Kelly is. However, this great trip has to come to an end and we must part ways here in Italy. I love Kelly and want only the best for her. We will be physically apart but our friendship will remain. Every time when I have the not so authentic olive oil away from Pistoia, I will think about the beautiful landscape in Tuscany and my American sister that had her fairytale come true in Italy. I will miss you Kelly Bisori, congratulations!

Romantic Roma

I was on the train to San Francisco for the Municipal conference from Sacramento when Lehman Brother’s filed bankruptcy this past Sunday evening. The events that unfolded after the bankruptcy were the acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, the AIG meltdown, and rescue of AIG by the Fed. By the time I got on the plane for our vacation in Europe, ALL of these events have taken place within 72 hours. As I got on the plane to Washington Dulles airport, I have read, listened, and watched the financial meltdown and that was the only thing I can obsess over on my flight to the East Coast.

After meeting up with Jim in Dulles, we watched and read some more about the Fed’s rescue of AIG, I have been obsessed with the recent financial crisis - I call it an obsession because the thought of vacationing in Italy and Germany didn’t even sound as fascinating as the financial market volatility. Everything changed when the captain of our flight to Italy announced that we will be descending into Rome in half an hour. I have been exhausted meeting and greeting bankers and potential customers at the conference, but the thought of arriving into the most romantic ancient city in the world gave me a jolt and woke me up to our vacation!

Jim and I were seriously jetlagged and hungry so we checked into our hotel that we booked while we were on the train into Roma and went out for our first pizza and beer at Ristorante Berzitello. (06-4782-4714) The seafood pizza was delicious with mussels, shrimp, calamari, clams, fish, olive oil, and fresh herbs. And beer has never tasted so good after a long flight, great pizza, and on the street of Roma. Rob, I am not trying to make you jealous but you really should be! (big smile on my face)

Prior to meeting Fabio and Sarah at La Gallina Bianco for dinner, Jim and I strolled around the Roman ruins and its modern streets. Every corner we turned to had something ancient and something new that blends into the most bizarre harmony. The Pantheon was circled by brightly lit restaurants and crowded cafés and stores. Chlesa del Gesu was surrounded by streets and cars, Monumento a Vittorio Emanuele II appeared out of nowhere but definitely caught our attention! Across the street from Via Curla was the Mercati Traiana, we ran through the two way traffic that doesn’t seem to stop for anyone like the Italian professional road crossers. (I am a talented road crosser having been born in Taiwan). Last but not least, the Colosseo and Arco di Costantino right outside of the subway station with blazing throughway traffic ignoring their existence. With the architecture, ruins, culture, and history, Italian men and women MUST be romantic, otherwise romance cannot exist! How lucky are the Romans! I love Roma, it is beyond romantic!

Needless to say, dinner at La Gallina Bianco was great. The restaurant was packed but we were in the good hands of Fabio and Sarah. We talked about Italians politics, global economy, bucket lists, places that we have and want to travel, and best cities in the world to live. I told Sarah how much I would love to live in Roma for a while, she said that she has came to appreciate Roma so much more after she has traveled to various cities in the world. She adds, “I regret that I will never be able to see Roma with the eyes of tourists”. At that moment, I realized that Romans are lucky and cursed at the same time, they will never be able to see Roma like how we see it. It is fair that to be born and raised in this amazing city, means that this city will never be able to love you the way lovers do… if this is any reconciliation to those of us whom were not born Romans~

Our Dinner was about two and half hours long that started at 9pm. Great Roman dishes, Batheos’ Calatrasi wine, and wonderful conversations ended our first evening in Italy. I woke up this morning and thought, “what financial crisis?” It took me one day in this great city of Italy’s to get over my obsession of the financial market. I declare to my lover, Roma, “if I get to live in Rome, I will be perfectly happy to completely forget about the rest of the world”

We met with the Jacobsens’ at the Stazione Termini and are on our train to Pistoia for Kelly and Ciro’s wedding. I am missing Rome already. Next time, I am not leaving Rome until Roma and I fall in love.

Internal State of Affairs

As some of you may know, I have enrolled myself in the Introduction Leadership Program (ILP) with landmark education (thanks to Angie!), the program is about seven months long and I started resisting the course the day after I signed up for it. Ever since I enrolled myself in this course, I have been challenged to keep my commitment by my unpredictable circumstances and wild emotional roller coaster rides. It is as if the universe is testing my commitment and battling my will. Therefore, I have decided to record my feelings and my resistance to better understand my mind and reflect upon my emotions. Through this course, I am learning to observe my internal state which I often mistaken for reality…

So there I was on Sunday morning, watching Linked TV while scrambling to pack for my upcoming trips. (I was blaming the ILP course for ruining my Friday evening in the back of my mind – although I had plenty of time to pack after the class ended) A documentary made in 2003, “Words of My Perfect Teacher”, caught my attention. The film was about the teaching of Khyentse Norbu, a Tibetan monk. I thought one of the most profound teachings from Khyentse was the notion of reality. Often, what we perceive as reality is merely an experience of our minds, not the reality.

Emotional experiences such as anger, happiness, inhibition, excitement, infatuation, sadness, cynicism, satisfaction, etc. can seem so real to us that these experiences become our reality. The experience in our minds makes us believe that our emotions and feelings are the reality. Once we have that experience established, then we set out to proof that these emotions and feelings are in fact the reality, the truth. The concept was confusing at first, but it makes perfect sense to me now. The uneasiness that I experience when I present to my credit committee is my perceived the reality. The anxiety that turns my stomach and makes me nervous is created by me, in my mind, not the reality. If the anxiety is in fact real and in existence, everyone in that meeting should experience the same thing as me, but they don’t - the audience is usually well composed with very pointed questions!

So, if our emotional experiences are not the reality, but our internal state of affairs, I can’t help by wonder, why are we confining our future to love, to share, to trust? And why are we propelled by our past to be cynical, resigned, and angry? When after all, our minds created these emotional experiences that are neither the reality nor the truth. Whatever our minds create and we experience exist only in our thoughts. They are simply our internal state of affairs, not the reality.

Good at math, bad with love

One plus one equals two, right? 50% plus 50% equals 100%, correct? I just realized that being good at math and logical sometimes might not be such a good thing... In life, especially in relationships, the math just doesn't add up...

Why is it that relationships work in the beginning? You know, the passion, the longing, the curiosity, the endless conversations, the interest, the sweet and sour tastes of it all. Everything about it just seem so perfect and complete... It seems to me that in the beginning of a relationship, both of you are more than willing to put in 100% to have a 100% relationship. If my math is right, the equation for a lasting relationship should equal to100% from you, plus 100% from your partner, correct?

Once a long term relationship gets established, people forget what the equation should be and adapt to the mathematical and logical solutions. We often assume that putting in more than the other person translates into our "right" to demand from the other person and forget that our responsibility to the relationship is 100%. This is as if you put in 60% and the other person put in 40%, that will get you to where you want to be. It's not the sum of the two of you, but 100% from each person to make a lasting relationship. This means your 100% is YOUR responsibility.

Wherever there are complaints about relationships, work, or family, maybe we should start asking ourselves if we have given our 100% to that area of our lives? Are we being authentic in facing our responsibilities in these areas?

Dear Baby Nikki...

This was the first time that I visited you at Kaiser for about a month now, not only you are off all of your breathing and feeding tubes, your mommy was moving you around like a little doll trying to feed those tiny milk bottles. Your mommy and I kept looking at the breathing and heart rate monitor concerned that you will forget to keep breathing while trying to swallow the milk... This is the week that you were suppose to be born but you decided to come two month earlier to this crazy world~

While I was sitting there watching your mommy feed you your lunch, I remembered the day that your mommy went into labor. Your mom and I take breakfast walks from our office to the cafeteria almost every morning before you were born. This particular morning, your mom told me that she was having pain when she drives into the office and I told her to pull over whenever she feels the pain so it's safer for both of you. Little did we know that she was having contractions and she was admitted to the hospital the same afternoon. Mommy Racel called me that afternoon and said "I am going to have the baby!!!", I panicked!!!!

Ever since that day, it has been a learning journey for me and everyone around you. I remember staying with your mom at the hospital when she was drugged up to keep you inside of her, I remember getting the call from your dad while I was in Wisconsin that you have arrived to our world, I remember seeing your mommy hovered over her first Mikuni sushi meal in a very long time, and I also remember seeing you for the very first time. Your red skin, pink face, black hair, little diaper, and a lot of tubes and monitors wrapped around you. I remember breathing gently so you don't get whatever we adults have. I thought to myself, this little thing will have to fight to survive her surgery and complications... The moment that I met you, you have changed my perspective of life -- Life is not guaranteed, it is a gift and it is always a fight.

Today when I saw your mom handling you to feed you, I held my breath and constantly checked the monitors, but I know you will continue to inspire us, continue to teach us, and continue to grow. Nikki, we don't know what your personality is going to be like or who you are going to be in this world, but your presence and your courage have moved and touched us in more ways than you can imagine. Nikkie, we love you and we will have to make this a better world, just for you.

Leaders

I am the kind of gal that will take over a task, a conversation, a job if given the opportunity. I do this so that things are done more efficiently and effectively, and to make sure conversations continue on with more clarity and achieve their goals... At least these are my intentions and what I perceive to be the "right" way to accomplish the task and/or conversation at that moment... Many might think that achieving effectiveness and efficiencies are leadership qualities but what I realized is that leaders are not leading because of their leadership "qualities" but the "followers" lending their support to the leaders...

When I was assigned to assist in the landmark seminar's set-up team, I thought the job was pretty simple. All we need to do was follow instructions, set-up the sound system, tally the head count, distribute the seminar material. Easy enough, problem solved. I can master tasks like these with my eyes closed. I thought.....

During the seminar, there were a few opportunities that we could have distributed the handouts with the seminar leader's instruction. But since we were running out of time, I asked the manager of the seminar volunteers, "can you request that the seminar leader announce the distribution of these handouts?" (Hey, I want to be efficient and effective so I got to keep asking right? Besides, that was the right thing to do - I told myself) The second time when I asked the same question, the manager gave me a profound answer, he said: "Tim (the seminar leader) has a lot on his mind right now and he needs to get through what he needs to get through. We don't want to interrupt him right now, otherwise he will lose his train of thought. If we have to do it when people are walking out the door, we'll just do that". I replied, "ok" but I was screaming inside... "WHAT??? It's not effective or efficient that way!!! It will only take Tim 3 seconds to announce and take us 30 seconds to distribute then our problem will be solved!!!" We ended up not interrupting the leader which means we spent additional 10 to 20 minutes handing out the course material as people were walking out of the room..... (See, I was right, I thought to myself)

On my drive home, I just couldn't get it... why not do it the more efficient and effective way? why not do it MY way? I am right! See, 33 seconds turned into 20 minutes... Suddenly, one of Tim's acknowledgment popped into my head! Tim always thank us for letting him be the leader, giving him the life that he loves to live in, and he always end the conversation by saying that he loves us because of our generosity. (whenever he says that, I've always just listened but I have never heard what he's really saying) While I was getting ready to exit Sunrise Blvd, I realized that Tim was right!!! Leaders are who they are because the "followers" or "supporters" are willing to give up their "right" and let leaders BE leaders. No matter how great the leader is, if each one of the supporters keep insisting that they are right and their ways are better, there will not be a leader. It will just be a bunch of people arguing about what is right or wrong. However, if people are willing to give up their differences and honor one person, then a leader is born...

So leaders, please remember that you are leading because others are honoring you. The supporters gave up their "right" and stop making you "wrong" so you can be who you are in your community, job, and family. Without the followers, leaders will not exist.

Exchange of emails on marriage & love

Four of us went out to lunch and play cards during lunch time. The discussion of marriage and love came up and it's so interesting that people look at marriage and love so differently but here are some email exchanges after lunch.....

Email from the Professor (our nickname for him)

My friends:
if your duties as happily married couples allows, and you find the time, and you decide to learn what science has to say about the subjects, may I suggest the 2 following books:
1. anatomy of love, written by a professor of psychology at Rutgers university ( she may have moved since the book was published, which was about 15 years ago).
this book is about human relationship and in particular marriage. many scholars since then revisited the concepts of the book, and all those who ( in my personal opinion) believe in science agreed with it.
2. stumbling on happiness, written by a professor of psychology at Harvard. published within the past couple of years. this addresses all human beliefs and behaviour, including getting married, having kids, etc.
I have read at least another 100 books on the subject over years and will be happy to let you know of others, but the above 2 are (in my humble opinion) so matter of fact and undeniably rigorous ( and yet very easy to read) that I think anyone interested in life should read and think about them.

Of course one may believe in marriage, or anything else in life for that matter, based on non scientific concepts. that is a personal choice.

My response:

I love your last line.
Marriage like many other concepts that we humans create and institute on ourselves that have became the norm, the guidelines, and way of life for various of reasons. These creations might have began for practical and economical reasons but love didn't have much to do with it in the first place. These days, marriage has been interpreted to mean very different things, and staying in or getting out of a marriage are for reasons like our insecurity, stable family structure / society, or even a way of controlling our animal instinct.

All this being said, I do believe in love, consuming and hopeless romantic love. I know that passion only last for 18 months, but you can think about it for a life time and that's good enough for me!

His response to my email:

Interesting comments. Marriage and love have for almost all human history been two distinct issues. Love always existed, and marriage was a contract of conveniences. Marrying someone because you love them is a very recent phenomenon, and in west, it more or less started in Victorian times. There is a book ( I believe by a Princeton professor or I may be wrong) called funnily enough " The history of wife". It illustrates the above very nicely.

Love though is perhaps the sweetest experience that we humans ever have. It means different things though; mystics, philosophers, others have thought about its meaning for many years.
Love, even in its Hollywood version, is still sweet and the source of so many great human achievements in arts, etc.

My response:

I agree with you on the concept of marriage, it's especially difficult for Westerners to separate the idea of marriage with love because arranged marriages and other reasons that you marry others are often not discussed here anymore. However, in Taiwan, my mother still want her daughters to marry rich and successful young men. But daughters, dutifully so, refused to listen and married for love. I do have friends that married for financial security, good life, etc and I don't think there's anything wrong with their choices as long as they are responsible for them. Who is there to judge someone like that when you marry for love and still end up in a divorce? As long as you recognize your choices and be fully responsible for the choices that you made, there is very little conflict or suffering. This is an easy concept but hard to implement…..

I can't agree with you more that love is the sweetest experience that we humans have. Therefore, the individualistic point of view that I have adapted over the years of living in the US is the worst addiction that I am trying to kick. Friendships and love for others have never been so present in my life since I took the landmark course and I am treasuring every moment of it.

Love is abundant but it's humans that are resisting the experience….

first attempt

Peishan was the first one that got me interested in blogging and now Danielle is making it a reality for me..... I want to blog to remember, to share, and see how many commitments I can fulfill and how I achieve them.

There are a lot of things that came to mind when I think about living into my future. One is that I am traveling to Italy and Germany with Jim for Kelly's wedding and for Oktoberfest. I am excited that I get to see Kelly in her white gown in Pistoria and I am also looking forward to Oktoberfest in Germany! I am hoping that we can make our way up to Berlin because we have never been there before and maybe we'll be able to catch up with Danielle for some nice German Reislings or beers!

Another thing that I am committed to is to move back to Asia and start our family there. I want to be closer to my family and also re-learn the Asian culture cuz I am quite clueless in that area...

These future commitments are making my everyday life a lot more intersting but it's not to say that it's not hectic either... we'll see what happens and I will have to dream up more things to live into.... got ideas?