Faces of Men

Sausage talker - have you ever heard of this phrase? This is a phrase that Jim inherited from the JK family, both figuratively and literally. The phrase describes a person that talks nonsense. Not just nonsense but having ridiculous claims that are alien to normal human beings. Jim and I practice sausage talk on each other quite often. In addition to sausage talks, we also talk about the serious topics such as politics, business, and public policies. Between talking like a sausage and the serious conversations, we also talk about what every couple talk about - relationships, friendships, you name it…

There are a lot of people in my life that only know one side of me because of the type of conversations that we have. The conversations change depending on the people that I am with and circumstances in which we find ourselves. Therefore, peoples' perception of me differ dramatically. The friends that I drink with and friends that I share my blogs with know different things about me. The friends that I party with and the friends that I discuss the financial market with will probably think you are talking about a different person when you have these friends describe me. This is not unique to my friends or colleagues, this probably applies to almost everyone. So who am I really? Or who are they befriending with, really? I venture to say (another sausage talk topic) that it is how you want to be perceived that become who you are to your family, friends, and colleagues.

Everyone of us has different sides that we share with different people. What we choose to share determines who we are for others. So do we ever really know someone or do we only know what they want us to know about themselves? The faces of men are so complicated that any judgments, evaluations, and assessments are very likely to be inaccurate - so why do we pretend that we know others when we can so easily alter our own images to other through our conversation?

Right or Wrong?

We had two economists in the office today talking about the economic conditions, financial system, and the impact of our governmental policies. One of the economists is from the large investment banks who looks like Tim Geithner, the other economist has his own firm and has written quite a few academic papers and text books. Although the presentation styles and reasoning were vastly different, I enjoyed both presentations and agreed with their final conclusions that the economy and the market will get worse before they get better... Since the presentations happened on the same day, it's not hard to see that these economists had similar data, they drew different conclusions from their point of view, but agreed that there is still a long road ahead of us before the economy is on its way to recovery. Most of their arguments were reasonable, well supported, and convincing, but is what they are presenting, the reality?

The irony of working in this industry is that the reality is not THAT important. What is important is formulating a theory that you can back-up, collect data that you can interpret, and convince others that you have the right theory (if they don't believe you, show them the data!) When others agree with you, or better - when the market agrees with you, then you have manufactured not just alpha, but reality. It doesn't matter what the 'reality' was going to be, you can create your own if you can exert enough influence.

For example, if the banks are too big to fail, why do we make them bigger? If leverage is the problem, why do we encourage more borrowing? I know what should be the answer because I work in the industry, but common sense in this case just doesn't seem to matter... These questions made me think whether I can make a "right" decision and be wrong because the reality belongs to the majority, or if I can make a "wrong" decision and be right for incorrect reasons? If so, why are we so hung up on being right or being wrong when reality itself is a creation of mankind?

Belly Dance

Last night was my first and ever belly dancing class. The class is hosted by one of the community district parks in the area and I was expecting a lot of people to take advantage of this course because it was very reasonably priced. The instructor, Adriane, looked very professional on her website, so I signed up for the class without hesitation.

The anticipation was fun. I was expecting about ten to fifteen ladies in their forty's and fifty's from our neighborhood and the course was going to be like a group yoga class... It turned out that the course was held at an old library room with three students and one instructor (I was the third one) One girl was in her 20s with a tan and one of those toned tummies that make all women envy, the other student was in her late 30s having done the belly dance before. Needless to say, Adriane was in shape with a flat, tight abs. And there was me...

The room was a little doggy but the music was fun and sexy. Adriane started with some stretches and showed us some simple moves. The entire evening, I catch myself asking "how did she move her muscle like that? how did she move her shoulder like that?". It was our turn to try out the moves. I was doing well until Adriane said "breathe". I realized then that I was holding my breath trying to get the moves down. All of us burst out laughing when she said that - "we have to rotate our shoulders, hold our bellies in, AND breathe too?". As I focused on my breathing and getting the poses right, Adriane goes, "tuck your tummy in!". There was more laughter. "I did tuck my tummy in!" I screamed inside. "This is the best that I can tuck it in after those chicken wings that I munched down before the class!" I thought to myself...

8:15pm came around, the fun had to end. I am already looking forward to my next belly dancing class. Belly dancing is not as easy as it looks but it is sexy, fun, and a lot of exercise. I highly encourage you to try it out!

Backyard

Our desks and seats at the office were rearranged to fit more people in the office. I was moved to a corner desk with windows behind me. The out of control electronic shades sometimes go up to let the sun in when it's too bright and sometimes shut to block the afternoon light when the fluoresce lights are not enough. I am not sure why the electric shades work the way they do and no one seems to know how to control them... The shades are often stuck half open in the afternoon so I am able to catch a glimpse of the buildings and trees behind our office. At the corner of this scenery when I stare aimless out the window is highway 80 with traffic flowing both directions. Whenever I start noticing the highway and the traffic, it's usually time to pack up and head home because I am just not very productive anymore...

Last week, I noticed the heavy traffic on highway 80 for about 3 of the days. While I day dreamed, I thought about the traffic that I might run into if I left the office at those moments, so I waited for the traffic to die down. When I sit through the traffic on the 5 lane highway, I usually surf the net on the phone or talk on my phone while listening to the radio. The commute home has always been long, but it wasn't until recently that I started to notice my eagerness to be home because of the amazing Sacramento spring weather.

If staring out of the office window is a sign of dwindling productivity, drawing a blank on highway 50 is my way to anticipate the amazing spring evenings in our backyard. I will sit in my car, think about the big red wood trees in the yard, the grass cut and the pool clean, the wine bottle and wine glasses glistening under the afternoon sun, and the BBQ grill spits out scents of chicken, onions, and peppers. The temperature in its 70s, the occasional breeze, and the tree shadows that shade our lawn chairs. I sit on the highway, listen to NPR, anticipate what the backyard would be like. I let the pedals go then brake, let the pedals go and brake. Eventually, I will get there.

Forty to fifty minutes later, I will arrive at my destination. The cats will follow me around knowing that I am heading to the backyard so that they can roll in the dirt and chase some insects. I will get out that wine glass and pour myself some chilled white wine, then I will head to the backyard with Jim. The office, the traffic, and the stress of the day will disappear the moment that I walk through our front door heading to the amazing backyard. Then, the Sacramento spring evening in our backyard will finally begin our day...