Dear Baby Nikki...

This was the first time that I visited you at Kaiser for about a month now, not only you are off all of your breathing and feeding tubes, your mommy was moving you around like a little doll trying to feed those tiny milk bottles. Your mommy and I kept looking at the breathing and heart rate monitor concerned that you will forget to keep breathing while trying to swallow the milk... This is the week that you were suppose to be born but you decided to come two month earlier to this crazy world~

While I was sitting there watching your mommy feed you your lunch, I remembered the day that your mommy went into labor. Your mom and I take breakfast walks from our office to the cafeteria almost every morning before you were born. This particular morning, your mom told me that she was having pain when she drives into the office and I told her to pull over whenever she feels the pain so it's safer for both of you. Little did we know that she was having contractions and she was admitted to the hospital the same afternoon. Mommy Racel called me that afternoon and said "I am going to have the baby!!!", I panicked!!!!

Ever since that day, it has been a learning journey for me and everyone around you. I remember staying with your mom at the hospital when she was drugged up to keep you inside of her, I remember getting the call from your dad while I was in Wisconsin that you have arrived to our world, I remember seeing your mommy hovered over her first Mikuni sushi meal in a very long time, and I also remember seeing you for the very first time. Your red skin, pink face, black hair, little diaper, and a lot of tubes and monitors wrapped around you. I remember breathing gently so you don't get whatever we adults have. I thought to myself, this little thing will have to fight to survive her surgery and complications... The moment that I met you, you have changed my perspective of life -- Life is not guaranteed, it is a gift and it is always a fight.

Today when I saw your mom handling you to feed you, I held my breath and constantly checked the monitors, but I know you will continue to inspire us, continue to teach us, and continue to grow. Nikki, we don't know what your personality is going to be like or who you are going to be in this world, but your presence and your courage have moved and touched us in more ways than you can imagine. Nikkie, we love you and we will have to make this a better world, just for you.