Not Enough

The death of Michael Jackson was one of the headlines in the news for the past few days. The first day I heard it, the news was repeated by every single multimedia outlet including NPR. I was driving from Sacramento to San Francisco to complete my communication course on Thursday night when NPR played his music and story. The ride was about two hours and NPR played Michael Jackson news various times. The program talked about his accomplishments, his lawsuits, his bankruptcy, his now cancelled upcoming concerts, and of course his death. I couldn't help but think how sad his life had been...

Michael Jackson is one of the world's most famous musicians if not THE most famous. His MTV videos, music, dance moves, and concerts mesmerized the world. Yet, he continued to change his physical appearance until people looked at him as if he was a monster. While NPR continued playing his life story, I couldn't help but wonder, did this international star have the same insecurities as every single one of us? Did he continue to change his physical appearance because some part of him felt like he wasn't enough? Did the insecurities eventually manifest themselves in areas of his life that made it difficult for him to turn back? Did "not enough" eventually catch up with him even though the world still believed in his talents and him?

Although our insecurities usually don't manifest themselves physically, many do impact our lives in ways that others do not see or cannot fathom. The question "am I enough?" will prompt different people to take different actions. For me, to answer this question for myself, I am driven to learn more, explore more, and do more. For others, the question "am I enough?" might mean that they become secluded, withdrawn, or unfulfilled, etc. I wonder if this is the question that killed the legendary super star Michael Jackson from the inside. Not only did he keep changing his appearance, he also couldn't muster the strength to complete his last round of concert tours. Could the answer to the question "am I enough?" for Michael Jackson eventually ended his life? Despite how much the world believed and loved him and his talents, like the rest of us, he morphed, changed, and suffered because he felt that he was not enough?