Newbies

Ok, I have to admit that I am not very good with being pampered. I can count with my hands the number of time that I have had manicures or pedicures my whole life. I can’t say the same thing about massages, but it has not been that many times. I am extremely ticklish so I never enjoyed massages when I was young, now that I am older and not as sensitive, I can enjoy massages now and then but I am still very self-conscious about the idea of being massaged.

Since Angela’s stay with us, she’s booked us several massages to a place that’s close to our house. I had two massages and they were both good. However, if I had to choose between great wine & food versus massages, wine and food will always win. So, now that you know where I stand with massages, I will share my first massage of this trip with you…

I was still asleep when the masseuse showed up at Angela’s flat. I was still drowsy and confused when they came into our room. As soon as they asked us to take off all of our clothes, THAT woke me up. I looked over from the mat on the floor to see what Jim was doing, he was already getting under his towel by this time. Ok – I thought to myself, if he’s ok with this, why shouldn’t I be? I faced down, tried to hide under the tiny towel that Angela gave me (I think it was more of a floor mat but that will have to do for now) and closed my eyes. I told myself, my masseuse is a woman, so who cares. (Obviously, I do) She started with my right foot, calf, thigh, and then the right glute. All of a sudden, I felt this brush. “No, she didn’t just do that”. She was massaging my foot when I started wondering if she brushed up against the trough of the valley. Then there it was again. “Yup, she did!” I thought to myself. I thought they were not supposed to touch your back door! “Oh well, as long as she doesn’t massage there, it is what it is… But, did she wash her hands after the pervious client?” I continued to have thoughts like these for the next hour. When she curled up my leg to press into my thigh, I raised my head like a helpless turtle; usually this will get the masseuse to lighten up but not this one… I tried to communicate, but it just brought more confusion and pain… I told myself, “I will have to learn – harder, softer, and no in Thai before getting another massage”

I heard Jim flip over and saw his masseuse climb over the other side of the bed. I knew it was my time to do the same thing because the masseuse were pretty much synchronized. I can tell that my masseuse was a newbie and she was following Jim’s lady. So I flopped, with very little to cover me. Jim’s lady actually came over and helped my newbie masseuse to tuck that floor mat around my very private part. As my masseuse massaged my legs, I was a little concerned that she doesn’t respect the boundary of that floor mat. Just as soon as I started worrying about it, she brushed against me… This time, the flip side of the valley trough. I didn’t dare to say anything, afraid that she would be mistaken… I looked over to Jim’s bed wondering what was going on there. “Did he just get brushed against, like me?” “He seems to enjoy his massage, is that good?” Then she moved up to my belly. When she started massaging my stomach, I can’t help but think, “what if one of us farted right now?” I burst out laughing when that thought crossed my mind. I laughed hard and couldn’t stop myself and the two ladies also laughed with me, but not sure why. Then, the experienced one turned and said something in Thai to the less experienced one and started working on Jim again. My masseuse immediately started tenderizing my breasts. By this point, I figured stop laughing and stop dwelling on my own thoughts would be beneficial for me. So I tried to relax like a good chicken.

Jim was asked to sit up at this point, he saw my lady giving me a breast massage. I caught a glimpse of surprise on his face and then he closed his eyes to relax. I couldn’t help but think, “You better stay cool, calm, and collected. Otherwise it will be hilarious and embarrassing…”

As I have told you, I am not a very good at being pampered. It’s way too funny how self-conscious I get in these moments and it’s way too funny when I observe my own thoughts and running commentaries. But don’t worry, I will have plenty of massages this vacation and I am sure I will get over the “novelty” soon, I think.