Human Whisperer?

I love Cesar Millan's show, Dog Whisperer.  I watch this show tirelessly even though we don't own a dog. Cesar always re-trains the owners to treat their dogs as dogs instead of as their children or family members and encourages owners to provide discipline before affection.  His principle is "species, breed, then name", meaning treating the pet as a species (dog) first, then its breed (Dalmatian), and then its name (Smokey).  Understanding that by treating Smokey as Smokey first, you inevitably allow and tolerate unwanted behavior and miss out on the opportunity to fulfill on the needs of the dog such as exercising.  This is often where the behavioral problem of the pet originates.  By treating Smokey as a dog and applying appropriate discipline, not only will the owner have less trouble handling the dog, Smokey will become calmer and happier. 

Although Smokey's happiness is hard to measure or judge, the owners usually rave about the improvement of their pets' behavior after applying Cesar's principle.  The principle is so simple and effective that it amazes me every time that I watch his show.  It is clear that by romanticizing our pets as children or family members, it harms the very relationship that we desire.  Other than with our pets, our efforts to enjoy great relationships with other human beings also seems to be sabotaged by the romantic notion of "name" first, "breed" second, and then "species" last.

In our day-to-day relationships, are we honoring people as people or are we interacting with others as their race, gender, education, political affiliation, or "breed"?  With the people whom we love so dearly and sometimes believe that we "own", are we treating them as people or are we relating to them as "husband and wife", "colleagues", and "best-friend"?  What are the consequences to our relationships by treating those that we care and love as "roles", "responsibilities", and "characters" rather than just another human being?  The unfulfilled expectations of a wife or husband only arise when there are expectations of the role of husbands and wives instead of a human being to the other.  An unappreciative daughter can only exist when the standard of an appreciative daughter gets established by demanding parents.  Demanding parents are suffocating when their affection comes across not just as love from other human beings.  Racism, sexism, homophobia, wars and a slew of human problems can probably be eradicated if we just apply Cesar's dog training principle to people: Treating people as people first.  Who's ready to be a human whisperer?

Risky Business

If you had a crystal ball and you only get a peak at one moment in your future, what would you like to see?  Do you want to know who you'll be married to? Do you want to know what kind of retirement you'll get to have? Do you want to see what your kids would be like as adults? Do you want to know if long-term investment will pay off?  Do you want to know who will be at your funeral?  Do you want to see if you'll live a long healthy life?  Looking at a snapshot of your future will definitely provide more certainty and a lot of people will probably trade or pay a handsome price to get a glimpse of what is to come, right?

Life is volatile, risky, and unpredictable.  We get butterflies when we contemplate switching jobs for a higher pay but with a different boss, we suffer when we choose between the person that loves us and the person that we love, and we fight with our partners trying to figure out what's best for our children.  Life is full of uncertainties but our tendencies to seek out certainties in life, makes life even more mysterious.

What if instead of a peak of the crystal ball, a session with the psychic, or a ride on the time machine, you actually know your future?  You know that you should study music instead of engineering, you'll meet the love of your life at age 30 even though you thought John was the one for a split second.  You will own your own business at age 40 and you'll have 3 children and have a beautiful house in Florida.  Before you die, you will have 10 grandchildren and you'll be surrounded by people that you love and treasure.  Or, forget about school and retirement, life will end abruptly for you so you better start enjoying it now! 

If you know your future, will it take the fun out of living?  Isn't life meant to be uncertain so that we get to experience, feel, and think in ways that we wouldn't be able to if we had all the answers?  Life is risky business! Next time, if you get a bad hand dealt to you, remember that we earthlings are simply here to expand our capacities otherwise we'd all come equipped with a crystal ball.  Don't you think?