Lilly on the beach

A Norwegian girl, Lilly, with black curly hair has been coming by while I sat by the beach getting my foot massage (one step removed from another oil massage), pedicure, and manicure. She taught the Thai ladies and I how to say “fly” in Norwegian as she pointed to the flies that landed on my calf. “Flu-wa”! She said several times, slowly, correcting our pronunciations. Staff here on the resort told me that they have been here for the past two to three weeks so most of the staff knew her and adore her. They come here every year from Norway and this was her last day this year… I tried teaching her my name and the word “fly” in English, but she seems to have little interest. The staff tried to get a kiss from her but she refused. I asked her how to say kiss, she said, “suss”. Mind you, that she doesn’t speak English and I don’t speak a word of Norwegian (other than flu-wa) she understood what I was asking and taught us the word – thanks to the international language of pucker the lips.

Lilly and I are the lucky ones that get to sit by the ocean, listen to the wave splashing on the shore, while getting our nails painted and foot massaged. As I look over the general direction where her parents were, the ocean looked so calm, the grass and hills looked so green, the palm trees leaned so perfectly, and everything so peaceful and relaxed… We are the lucky ones that get to come here and enjoy this beautiful nature while being tended and cared for. We are lucky in the sense that we were born to the “right” places, the “right” time, and with the “right” parents. One can argue that Lilly at her young age get to enjoy the resorts and services for weeks every year, she’s luckier than I am. However, I am not going to rank our good fortune or with the slightest intention to minimize how lucky I get to spend this kind of time on this very beach.

This is the first time in a long time that I felt this relaxed. Perhaps, the last time, was six years ago at the same place here in Ko Samed. Since we arrived Thailand, I have been eating, drinking, sleeping, reading, thinking, and writing. All of which brings out the best of me.

Without the worries of work, career, the day-to-day productivity that’s required of me, I am able to enjoy thinking, solitude, and best of all - myself. It must be the indulgence of getting a massage under the palm trees and shade, with the sea breeze and sound of the waves gently tapping my face that I finally forgot about the worries of my modern life and found some peace, inner peace.

I looked over. Lilly was fast asleep, sunken in her massage chair, after being pampered on this peaceful and luxurious heaven on earth.

Floating Market

Speaking of Jok’s friend, he’s definitely not as honest as Jok. Angela has been using Jok for a very good reason... The Damnoen Saduak floating market in the Ratchaburi Province is one of the most popular tourist destinations, or shall we say “tourist trap”. This is one of the oldest floating markets in Thailand and it is probably the most crowded floating market with tourists these days. Prior to our trip, Jok told us that the long-tailed boats will cost about 40-60 baht per person for Thais and approximately 500-2000 baht for farlung (foreigners). He warned us, but he couldn’t take us. Guess where his friends took us? The farlung boat dock, of course.

“It’s 500 Thai Baht per person for the boat ride”, the boat owner said without blushing. “The taxi driver just told us it was 300 Thai Baht per person”, I protested. I wasn’t making this up. I wanted to see if Jok’s friend was taking us to the right place so I checked ahead of time. I didn’t argue when he said 300 baht per person, knowing he’s taking us to the farlung boat dock, at least, that was the cheaper end of the farlung price. Traveling with a blonde-hair husband that looks nothing like Thai, 300 baht wasn’t bad. The boat owner gave the taxi driver a look, he agreed. 300 baht per person and he assigned us this lady that was probably in her early 50s to row our boat. “Jim probably will end up doing some work too, maybe we should have paid full price?” I thought to myself.

The canal that leads to the floating market was narrow, narrower than I would have imagined. Our boat rower pulled over to the side of the canal to let a motored, long-tail boat pass right after we made our first turn. The waves that the motored boat stirred up, made me concerned that the greenish brown water will splash all over us. It didn’t, so I took the first breath of relief. Jim was still holding his breath because the boat was very unstable and I was rocking it by trying to take photos… Another six to seven motored long-tail boat passed by us before we reached the shops on the canal. (How come our boat was not motored and the motored ones always have the right-of-way?)

The shopping was quite interesting. The boat rowers will row the boats next to a store along the canal, the merchant who speaks multiple languages will guess your nationality, advertise in that language, then switch the language if she realizes that you are from a different country. So, I didn’t say a word so that we didn’t get harassed. Needless to say, that didn’t last long. We were coerced, we gave in, and bought a couple of purses, a dress, food, and some beers.  Haggling was fun though! Everything we purchased was more than 50% off! (I checked prices with Angie later and I got them for good prices) The best purchase was the boat noodle for 30 baht! The noodle lady covered all of her ingredients, spieces, and seasonings under a cloth.  She mixed the noodles, threw in the cooked meat, and ladled the soup in the bowl only when there's an order.  The cool thing was that the cooking and service were all done from her boat.  Hence, the boat noodle.  You enjoy the noodle on the comfort of your own boat and the boat rower will return the bowls after you leave. It was a small bowl of noodles but it was delicious! I had two and half bowls by myself (half of Jim’s that he didn’t finish) and I think that surprised the skinny Thai ladies including the boat rower! Beers were enjoyed with the noodles.  Aparently, riding under the influence with an open can wasn’t a problem at all!

An hour and half and plenty of sweat later, the boat rower finally made a turn and took us to the Thai Thai market. (Meaning - the market where the locals go) Yes, we were duped in believing the farlung shops were the actual Thai market. I was so hot at this point that I really wanted the boat to turn around, but we can’t leave without going to the “real” floating market, right?


The traffic was horrible in the canal. Yes, traffic. Boats that carry food, drinks, tourists, locals, and produce compete for space in the narrow canal. We got up close and personal with merchants and boat riders. Tourists were snapping pictures (including me), merchants were selling, rowing, and sometimes cooking, and locals were going about their day… Jim bought some coconut infused pancake snack from a boat that was four boats away from us stacked right against one another. The pancake lady skillfully passed the pancake snack to the merchant next to her boat and we were encouraged to pass the money to the boat rower next to ours... The transaction was complete efficiently with boats going about their own directions. We ate the coconut pancake snack in amazement of this orderly chaos.

I couldn’t take the heat anymore so we headed back to our car after 2.5 hours. On our way back to our dock, we saw people’s way of life on the canal. Kids playing along the canal, people lying in the hammock underneath their homes, boats parked in their boat “parking lot”, and women washing dishes in the canal. NO!!!! They didn’t just dip their dish in that dirty canal. But they did! Jim and I looked at each other and braced ourselves for a violent stomach ache after having consumed the boat noodles.

At this time, in the middle of the canal, we were solicited by our boat rower to tip her before we reached the last turn back to the boat dock. We dutifully complied.

This was a fun trip. It was hot, curious, exotic, dodgy, different, and very interesting. I’d recommend anyone to come to the floating market in Ratchaburi Province. Make sure you pay the Thai prices, go to the Thai floating market first, bargain for your purchases, and prepare your stomach to stomach some yummy boat noodles.

Conflict Resolution

Jok’s car is still out of commission so Jim and I rode with his friend instead. We headed out of Bangkok to the famous Damnoen Saduak floating market. The ride was smooth so I looked out of the window our entire two-hour ride to the market.

The highway runs through an industrial park; factories, chemical plants, scrap yards, other manufacturing compounds were everywhere. The side of the roads was piled with dirt, garbage, leftover construction material, and more dirt. As soon as I was ready to slouch back into my seat and declare that there was really nothing to see, and there it was, a golden, shining, architecturally fascinating temple that caught my eyes. Who built the temple here with such grand scale? Who worship at this temple? Do they need to have the temple here because working here can be so obviously depressing? Or maybe being allowed here to work is such a blessing that they built the temple to thank the Buddha for answering their prayers? The dirt piles, factories, and grand golden temples went on for miles, which to me, was such a contradiction...

Can you imagine living in a country so contradictory like Thailand? Not only the old and young are caught in between a different value system like the rest of us, the disparity between the super rich and dirt poor, the balance between the pursuit of capitalism and devotion to religion, and the living condition that is between modern high-rises with top-end Western amenities versus mud huts with absolutely nothing . How can a place and its people allow so much contractions and conflicts to co-exist? Could it be the teaching and practices of Buddhism? Or is it the hopeful and compromising nature of the Thais?

To thrive in a contradictory place like Thailand, what qualities and skills do you have to acquire so that you survive, and survive happily? I wonder, if I was living in this part of the world, what traits do I lack, as a product of Western education, will allow me to thrive? The answer to this question will probably improve my chances of resolving conflicts in my day-to-day seemingly “Western” world.

Newbies

Ok, I have to admit that I am not very good with being pampered. I can count with my hands the number of time that I have had manicures or pedicures my whole life. I can’t say the same thing about massages, but it has not been that many times. I am extremely ticklish so I never enjoyed massages when I was young, now that I am older and not as sensitive, I can enjoy massages now and then but I am still very self-conscious about the idea of being massaged.

Since Angela’s stay with us, she’s booked us several massages to a place that’s close to our house. I had two massages and they were both good. However, if I had to choose between great wine & food versus massages, wine and food will always win. So, now that you know where I stand with massages, I will share my first massage of this trip with you…

I was still asleep when the masseuse showed up at Angela’s flat. I was still drowsy and confused when they came into our room. As soon as they asked us to take off all of our clothes, THAT woke me up. I looked over from the mat on the floor to see what Jim was doing, he was already getting under his towel by this time. Ok – I thought to myself, if he’s ok with this, why shouldn’t I be? I faced down, tried to hide under the tiny towel that Angela gave me (I think it was more of a floor mat but that will have to do for now) and closed my eyes. I told myself, my masseuse is a woman, so who cares. (Obviously, I do) She started with my right foot, calf, thigh, and then the right glute. All of a sudden, I felt this brush. “No, she didn’t just do that”. She was massaging my foot when I started wondering if she brushed up against the trough of the valley. Then there it was again. “Yup, she did!” I thought to myself. I thought they were not supposed to touch your back door! “Oh well, as long as she doesn’t massage there, it is what it is… But, did she wash her hands after the pervious client?” I continued to have thoughts like these for the next hour. When she curled up my leg to press into my thigh, I raised my head like a helpless turtle; usually this will get the masseuse to lighten up but not this one… I tried to communicate, but it just brought more confusion and pain… I told myself, “I will have to learn – harder, softer, and no in Thai before getting another massage”

I heard Jim flip over and saw his masseuse climb over the other side of the bed. I knew it was my time to do the same thing because the masseuse were pretty much synchronized. I can tell that my masseuse was a newbie and she was following Jim’s lady. So I flopped, with very little to cover me. Jim’s lady actually came over and helped my newbie masseuse to tuck that floor mat around my very private part. As my masseuse massaged my legs, I was a little concerned that she doesn’t respect the boundary of that floor mat. Just as soon as I started worrying about it, she brushed against me… This time, the flip side of the valley trough. I didn’t dare to say anything, afraid that she would be mistaken… I looked over to Jim’s bed wondering what was going on there. “Did he just get brushed against, like me?” “He seems to enjoy his massage, is that good?” Then she moved up to my belly. When she started massaging my stomach, I can’t help but think, “what if one of us farted right now?” I burst out laughing when that thought crossed my mind. I laughed hard and couldn’t stop myself and the two ladies also laughed with me, but not sure why. Then, the experienced one turned and said something in Thai to the less experienced one and started working on Jim again. My masseuse immediately started tenderizing my breasts. By this point, I figured stop laughing and stop dwelling on my own thoughts would be beneficial for me. So I tried to relax like a good chicken.

Jim was asked to sit up at this point, he saw my lady giving me a breast massage. I caught a glimpse of surprise on his face and then he closed his eyes to relax. I couldn’t help but think, “You better stay cool, calm, and collected. Otherwise it will be hilarious and embarrassing…”

As I have told you, I am not a very good at being pampered. It’s way too funny how self-conscious I get in these moments and it’s way too funny when I observe my own thoughts and running commentaries. But don’t worry, I will have plenty of massages this vacation and I am sure I will get over the “novelty” soon, I think.

Concrete Jungle

We passed through Thai immigration with no problem.  The immigration officer seemed to think Ryan was very cute.  At the end of her questioning (mostly questioning Angela, who can communicate with her), she grabbed Ryan’s hand and said her goodbye.  I caught myself thinking, “the American immigration officer would never do that! Why is it that everything needs to be so ‘professional’ and ‘non-human’ in the US?”

The Bangkok airport reminds me of most major airports that I have been to.  The airports are large, plain, and not very welcoming.  Walkways in the airports are usually lit with florescent lights and the walls are plastic and flooring blah.  The oversized conveyor belts and silver panels that wrap around baggage claim are probably the most interesting things on the arrival side of the airport.  At least the kids tend to think so…

The flight arrived at 2am so claiming luggage was a piece of cake.  After I changed Ryan in the restroom, Angela and Jim already had all of our 8 pieces of luggage and carry-ons.  (Mostly Ryan’s stuff)  As we met up with Jok (Angela’s personal taxi driver – yes, there’s such a thing) and his friend, the humidity and heat at the parking lot made me realize that this is going to be a completely different living environment and experience for Ryan.  I took Ryan out of his baby-bjorn and the extra layer of clothing, then sat in the car behind the driver seat with my arms around him.  If we get into an accident, Jok will be the human airbag and I will be the steadfast car seat…

The drive to Angela’s from the airport is approximately 30 minutes without traffic.  Since it was 3 in the morning, the only traffic was trucks going up and down the highway.  The shadows created by the orange-yellow colored light rays can be dizzying if the car is going too fast.  Ryan was in my arms with his eyes wide open.  I wondered what he thinks of moving from tree-lined streets in Gold River to a city woven with concrete…  I grew up in a city like Bangkok but I never realized how different it could be for someone else.  Not that I didn’t realize the differences between Gold River and Bangkok but it never occurred to me that the differences would be so vast, shocking or unsettling to others.  I am lucky to have lived in both places and have both places represent normalcy for me.  Ryan now will have the opportunity to live in a concrete jungle like Bangkok and have it be 'normal' for him.

Jok pulled over and told us that his propane converted energy efficient car won’t be able to make it.  The car either needs more propane or it needs fixing (that's right, 3 am in the morning). We decided to get an “unrelated” taxi to haul us in.  As we stood in the middle of nowhere hailing for a cab, everyone seems stressed out but I thought it was kind of funny and neat.  I don't expect everything to work in Bangkok like how things are back home...  The second cab came and we hopped in.  This taxi driver was younger and he drove a lot faster.  I held on to Ryan tighter than the previous ride trying to stabilize him so he doesn’t fly out of my arms when the driver hits the potholes.  Our taxi sped through the streets like an arrow in the middle of the night – I felt like we were in one of those movies during a car chase scene.  15 minutes later, we got to our destination safely but both Ryan and I were sweaty, sticky, and probably stinky (for different reasons).   I got out of the car satisfied because I know that Ryan will have an interesting time here in Thailand.  If he doesn’t remember, we will remind him.  Not from our perspective, but from his – from a perspective that’s novel.